Yes, Paris Hilton actually has fans

And as you might have guessed, they're not the brightest lot the world has ever seen. Here's a letter one of them wrote to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger pleading for our favorite hotel heiress's pardon:

To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger:

Let me first begin by saying that I grew up as a child enjoying all of your wonderful films. You really are the truly great action hero for our time. You are doing a great job in the great state of California.

I would like to bring a matter to your attention that you may or may not already be aware of due to the excessive media coverage this matter has received recently:

Paris Whitney Hilton is 26 year old American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives. Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic “House of Wax”. In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. I do not support drunk driving or condone a person being spared from DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn’t go to jail, either. As depicted on Friday night’s episode “Nancy Grace” on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been “slapped on the wrist” for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week.

Singer/actress Brandy Norwood’s California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulted in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and a woman is now dead possibly due to her reckless driving.

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.

This letter, with all due respect to you, sir, is to ask you to please consider granting a pardon to Paris Hilton for her mistake, or at the very least to advocate for a pardon to be given to Ms. Hilton. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn’t hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday. She is distraught and understandably afraid to enter the prison system.

Please save Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility in California.

I urge you to think about the welfare of this young woman who will be placed into a facility with murderers, rapists, people who have committed assault, battery, larceny, etc. Paris has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made. In my humble opinion, if the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we as compassionate human beings can undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well.

I hope and expect that you will understand and please consider granting this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.