For the undecided voters

Here's a little help decided whether you want to vote for either Barack "Barry Hussein" Obama or Hillary "Angry school librarian" Clinton.

Um, no he wasn't.

For the last few years now you've seen the occasional commercial pop up with some dead celebrity endorsing it. (I believe Fred Astaire, for example, was in a Dirt Devil vacuum commercial). That's bad enough. Even worse is twisting someone's legacy into the opposite of what his life actually was.

Case in Point: These fine t-shirts proclaiming "Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican."

The Worst Hotel in the World

I love tripadvisor, I really do. The site gives you reviews mostly of hotels and resorts from everyday travelers who might or might not be sane human beings. (Usually, they're reasonable but sometimes you end up taking some of the reviewers with a grain of salt.)

Well anyway, Mrs. T-L and I are taking our first real vacation together in a while next week. We are gonna be spending a few days in Savannah, Charleston and at Hunting Island State Park (where we're gonna do some camping). I think we're staying in some really nice places.

Well at least we're not staying in what I think might be the official World's Worst Hotel, the President Inn in Washington, D.C. Here are a few excerpts from the traveler reviews:

• More Like The President Crack Den
• upon my departure I noticed small red bumps all over my body
• It was so bad, that I actually want to see the building getting bulldozed.
• I have backpacked around the world, ranging from South America to Asia and this was by far the worst place ever.
• he receptionists are nice, but at night time they are protected behind bullet proof glass (while you're left to fend for yourself).
• The lobby entrance has thick bullet resistant plexiglass surrounding the reception area.
• a variety of interesting stains of unknown origin thoroughout the room
• There is razor wire around the property. It is across from a run-down liquor store and next to four railroad tracks.

Great science fair pictures

This collection of great science fair pictures is hilarious. Kind of cruel, but also kind of endearing, I suppose.

Why Star Wars is purely fantasy

I do admit to occasionally liking science fiction. It's fun to transport our current world to some foreign universe full of interplanetary empires and alliances. Here's a sci-fi writer's explanation for why we shouldn't hold our breath if we expect humans to colonize other planets. Good, geeky stuff!

Awful NY Times trend story of the week

Pointing out the hopelessly bourgeois/sloppily "researched" trend stories of the NY Times would really be regular feature of this blog if I weren't such a lazy lima bean. Anywho, check out this trend story on how rich DINKs are discovering that their high-design lifestyles conflict with their delayed acceptance of babymaking.

Life is hard for the rich when they have to give up things like sharp-edged custom coffee tables!

When the twins became mobile, the couple realized that they would need to create a designated play space in their prewar Park Avenue apartment. Still, the room they sacrificed — the formal dining room — was tough.

Heavily armed Floridiots

Ahhh, Florida. The State Where Everyone Gets a Second Chance.

Well, not any more. There will be no second chances if you find yourselves lined up in the laser sight of a .499 caliber Alexander Arms Beowulf Elephant Gun. Apparently a sheriff department in the Orlando area is stocking up.

Some choice excerpts from this Only in Florida story:

Essentially an assault rifle on steroids, the $800 weapon has "the power to kill anything that walks, swims or crawls!" according to a 2003 product review by gunblast.com. "Everyone who shot the gun was grinning like an idiot, and muttering phrases like, 'I gotta get me one of these.'"

and

In the 1960s, an elephant escaped from a circus in Winter Park. It rampaged along Cady Way into Winter Park Pines, leaving large mementos of its presence along the street, until it was subdued and recaptured.

and last but not least

Orange County's toughest neighborhoods may not have elephants, but the deputies who work there are getting a shipment of 25-shot machine pistols.

"Matching firepower," said sheriff's spokesman Capt. Mark Strobridge, when asked why.

"Our tactical squads that are getting the weapons are dealing with the worst of the worst and those types of neighborhoods," Strobridge said of the new semiautomatic, .45-caliber Heckler & Koch machine pistols. "They're more accurate than their [regular] pistols, and they can stand back further from the bad guys."

Hot bitches!

Check out Deadspin's "coverage" of the Westminster Dog Show. Yes, the freaks from "Best in Show" actually exist.

My favorite emu band

Some hick town in Georgia that no one's ever heard of now finds itself on the veritable internet freak show map: Appling, Ga., we love you!

Emu gets lost in road.

Tucker said Thursday that a man from Wilkes County said he was coming to see if the emu was his, but he had not arrived. "We're hopeful," she said. "Emus are a difficult animal. After four more days, we will put him up for adoption."

No one knows who owns the emu. Emu gets put up for adoption.... Emu ends up on trailer park Thanksgiving table?