I wish I could shoot missiles at the idiot commuter in front of me

Back in 1985, my favorite show as "Street Hawk." Because it was awesome.

Pretty much everywhere, it's gonna be hot

Watch this short clip. And then repeat numerous times. It only gets funnier.

Good stuff for today...

- Dave's Football Blog, a fairly new blog about the various forms of football (American football, soccer, the assorted types of Rugby) is a great read. There's a good bit of sports history and some great commentary on various issues, such as the recent NFL game in London. (Hint: The NFL spun it as a huge success, while the typical fish-and-chips eating Limey was quite non-plussed.)

- Ever wanted to own a professional sports team? Who wouldn't. I'm seriously intrigued by MyFootballClub.com. It's essentially a UK-based ownership trust that anyone can join for about $70 and that pledges to buy a football club. The concept of shareholder-owners is rare in the U.S. (the Green Bay Packers being a major exception), but this is really interesting. So far the top choice of the shareholders is to acquire Leeds United, a once-proud club that has fallen on hard times and is now two leagues below the Premiership. (Hint: This would make an awesome Christmas gift for that football lover in you life. cough. cough.)

- Don Vito, a Philadelphia-bred character from a certain MTV show was convicted of sexual assualt. Apparently he didn't take it too well:

"You might as well kill me now," as well as, "I can't f---ing spend the rest of my life in jail," "you cops lied" and "you can rot in f---ing hell!"

Schrute Farms

If you're ever looking for a quaint bed and breakfast to stay at in rural Northeastern Pennsylvania, look no further than Schrute Farms. The star attraction here is the beets... all kinds of beet dishes and beet treats. Plus no other agro-tourism destination features the hospitality of one Cousin Mose (pictured), the sidekick of proprietor Dwight Schrute. Check out the reviews over at tripadvisor.

The beauty of beauty pageants

Argggggh, David Chase!

In case you've been under a rock, The Sopranos finale was tonight. Luckily my sis-in-law Simone has the Hibbo, so I could watch it. Unfortunately, the show is written by David Chase, a complete wanker, who apparently decided that writers shouldn't, ya know, tie up loose ends in the plot and provide viewers with a sense of resolution. No, he had to get all abstract on us and present a completely ridiculous non-ending that allows the show to end without any of the big questions being answered.

I know writers and directors like to leave some questions unanswered, but a plot-driven show like this needs an ending. Not answering the big question of whether or not Tony was killed isn't creative or abstract... it's gutless and limp, and admits to viewers that the show's producer has lost all passion for the project. He wanted to kill off the show but apparently lacks the guts to kill of its hero.

The hilarious lawsuit against "Family Guy"

Of all people who you think might understand the concept of satire, Carol Burnett seems to have forgotten just how funny parody can be. Oh, and she may have also forgotten that parody is protected as fair use under U.S. copyright law.

Comedian Carol Burnett has filed a copyright infringement suit against the makers of Fox TV's cartoon sitcom "Family Guy" over an episode poking fun at the performer and her variety show from the 1960s and '70s.

The episode in question refers to Burnett by name as working as a part-time janitor, and depicts her "charwoman" character -- complete with trademark blue bonnet and mop bucket -- cleaning the floor of a pornography shop, the suit says.

Another character then makes a vulgar reference to the signature ear tug used by Burnett at the close of her variety show each week, according to the lawsuit.

Reuters is reporting that the suit is asking for $2 million in damages from the show's producers. Meanwhile Burnett, whose own show often parodied famous people, sure has some thin skin when she's the butt of jokes:

Burnett and her company have urged Fox to reedit the "Family Guy" episode to remove any reference her, but the studio has so far refused, the suit said.

Have another Triscuit

Over at a food blog called Ruhlman.com, Anthony Bourdain gives his opinion on the current state of the Food Network. (By the way, I really, really hate it when people chuckle and say "tell us what you really think" after someone gives their frank opinion. This phrase really bugs me.) Anyway, he mainly tears into the suits at the food channel for what he calls a "cynical" attempt to dumb down the programming. Bourdain is especially funny when he takes a few jabs at Rachael Ray (yes, I know, an easy target):

Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

C'est Joost

It's still in beta testing, but I'm hearing more and more about Joost, which theoretically will be some type of broadband (Internet) TV service that streams real TV channels onto your computer (and probably your TV box eventually). So far it looks promising. I like how they plan to use iTunes-style "playlists" to help users organize content. Probably the best thing for consumers, though, will be its a la carte format-- you'll get what you want without paying for 99 channels worth of Spanish telenovelas, professional bull riding and cop shows.

Pray We Never See 24-7 Dallas Cowboys TV

There's a good story today about the renewed challenge against the NFL's broadcast antitrust exemption, spurred on by baseball's move to negotiate an exclusive contract with DirecTV. It could eventually lead to NFL teams negotiating their own TV rights, which would have huge effects on the league. From Football Outsiders:

There’s a larger issue in play which has politicians jumping into the fray. In early December of last year, Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) said he would introduce legislation in the next session aimed at eliminating the NFL’s freedom from antitrust laws over how NFL Sunday Ticket is only available via DirecTV. If you’re scratching your head saying, “I thought only MLB had an antitrust exemption,” you’re not alone. Specter’s bill would repeal the NFL’s antitrust exemption under the Sports Broadcasting Act of 1961. Currently, the NFL negotiates the broadcast rights for all of its 32 teams. Specter’s bill would repeal that ability and set up a scenario in which teams would negotiate television deals separately. If it were to become law, wave bye-bye to one of the strongest methods for creating parity in the NFL: centralized television revenues.

Latest and Greatest Gadgets

Popular science has a little slide show of their favorite new tech gadgets from CES, the mega-trade show for consumer electronics. Most of the stuff doesn't blow me away, but I really do like the iPod video projector. As a friend of mine mentioned recently, home video projectors seem like they could really explode (figuratively) in the next few years if the price of the lenses keeps coming down.

YouTube finally realizes it can do TV better than TV can do itself

It's been a wild week for home entertainment buffs (Which is basically everyone at this point. Even my mom has Netflix.). Apple introduced its set-top multimedia box, the Apple TV. Also, YouTube is considering starting its own conventional television channel.

Everyone knows the days of analog TV and shipping DVDs through the mail is waning. And it looks like some kind of universal home entertainment server is the direction we're headed. Wirelous routers and satellite dishes are great, but faster network access and better monitor technology means your TV in five years will be a lot more like your computer than the TV you have sitting in your living room right now. And the obvious technical challenges posed by this will be completely destroyed by an online experience that's faster and more visceral than old TV.

The internet is pretty much already at the point where it's better at TV than TV -- a fact apparent to anyone who realizes they just killed two and half hours surfing YouTube and Wikipedia.