Shit you don't want to eat

There's unhealthy food out there and then there's scary franken-food. Something tells me the Baskin-Robbins Heath® Shake should be avoided if you want to live past 25. It comes with 320% of your daily recommended allowance of saturated fat. Yum. Check out the ingredient list, too.

You're not leaving the prison camp until you admit Hydrox are inferior to Oreos

This might be the greatest headline ever: Drug Deal Results in Cookie Torture. Notable excerpt from the story:

The suspects beat the man with a wooden paddle, burned his neck and shoulders with cookies immediately after taking them from the oven, shaved off some of his hair and poured urine over him from a soda bottle, Wells said.

How badly do fresh cookies hurt? This amazes me. What a waste of cookies. Every half-assed torturer from Guantanamo to Guanghzou knows the best method is the ole "car battery to the nuts" technique.