The shag van

Forget beach houses and plasma TVs, a real player needs this. Check out a few pics. I think the airburshed Star Wars mural is good, but the interior covered entirely in shag carpet is FUCKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(If the Craiglist link goes dead, this was an actual custom van for sale on the Dallas CL.)

Wolf Blitzer is E.B. Farnum

I've been watching a lot of CNN lately for some reason, and I finally today realized something about everyone's favorite news personality.

Wolf Blitzer is E.B. Farnum, the fictional mayor on HBO's "Deadwood."

Wolf:


and E.B. Farnum:

From the Dept. of Get a Brain Morans

The leader they deserve

The Onion once described American politicians as "The leaders American deserve" -- meaning most voters are about half a chromosome away from bonobos. We claim to hate politicians, but we've seen the enemy... and it is us.

We're a hodgepodge of crackpots, liars, inveterate racists and wide-eyed cultists. We disdain science and foreigners. In short, we're a nation of people like Brenda Spreitzer, 42, of Indiana. Here's what Brenda told Newsweek when asked why she wouldn't vote for Obama:

"I think Barack's viewpoints and his past is too flamboyant. It's more radical than I want to go … I'm just not comfortable," she said, adding that she is concerned about Obama's practice of generally not wearing an American flag pin. (None of the candidates wear flag pins.) She has been researching Obama on the Internet and discovered that he wants to tear out the bowling alley in the White House (Obama has kiddingly said he wants to replace it with a basketball court). "That freaked me out because no matter if he bowls or not, it's a historic thing that should never be changed."

World's. Second worst. people.

Are the fuckwits coming out of the woodwork today, or what? The latest bit of foolishness comes courtesy of four residents of Statesboro, Ga. who are filing mass voter qualification challenges in order to disenfranchise college students who want to vote in local elections. As usual, they mask their political cynicism in the nannying vocabulary of concerned guardians. A few choice nuggets of bullshit:

"If your students are voting at home, they have the advantage, or the maturity, of their parents to guide them," said Sarah Hines, who helped form the group to challenge the student voters

and

"The students are being misled - they were being told to vote for a certain candidate so the bars would remain open," Hines said. "That's not what we're supposed to do. We're supposed to know in our own hearts why we're voting for somebody."

It's amazing how well retarded people can figure out the motivations and internal judgement ability of other voters in an election. Oh well. I understand why they're afraid: They don't want the town turned into a typical college town. But why shouldn't it be? After all, half of the town's residents are students. Shouldn't they have the right to elect the leaders who represent their interests?

Worst. Person. Ever.

Paging Keith Olberman. I have a hunch that the NY Times has found the world's worst person. (The more I think about the kind of people who read the NY Times, the less I find it surprising that he or she is a Gray Lady letter-writer). The scumbag-in-question is the writer of a letter to the Times Magazine's "Ethicist" column. Here's the query:

My beloved sister, a human rights worker in Central America, has long received financial help from our parents. I earn enough to support a comfortable lifestyle. May I ask them to make a reckoning of their aid to my sister, subtracting it from any bequest they eventually make her, so that overall, she and I receive equal amounts?

— Name Withheld, Albuquerque

Yes, that's right. This person is asking whether he/she should count up how much his or her parents have given to the sister in support of her work as a human rights worker in Central America, so that he or she can get a bigger inheritance when they finally kick the bucket. All this despite being financially secure! The NYT answer is boring and a little too non-judgmental, frankly. I prefer Gawker's answer.