Stabbing the Statue of Liberty in the eye

I don't get to catch Bill Maher's HBO show often, but the guy is still one of the wittiest people in the entire country (right up there with Colbert). His recent monologue about Obama's decision to forego wearing one of those patronizing flag pins on his lapel was a work of art.

Some quips:

- "Show me a man wearing an American flag pin in his lapel, and I'll show you an asshole."

- "Another in a series of bullshit non-stories that have zero effect on the troops, the war, or anything in the real world. Or, as Fox calls it: Breaking news."

- "This is typical press hypocrisy. They say they want someone who doesn't give pat political answers, but when they get one, they call them a loser. They say they don't want safe robots like [Sen. Hillary Clinton], but they create conditions where only that species can survive."

and perhaps my favorite:

- "Of course, the Republicans are the party of Mark Foley, and Ted Haggard, and Larry Craig, and countless other closeted homosexuals... so their fixation on jewelry is understandable."

Go here for the video.

Put the game on and bring me my beer!

When you just want to go out with friends and have a few cocktails and socialize, a sports bar's tacky decor, hyperactive TVs and spilled-beer stink can ruin the fun. On the other hand, when you're a Philadelphia Eagles fan stuck in places like Providence, R.I. and Atlanta, Ga., a good Sunday sports bar is a must. This summary of what goes into creating the perfect sports bar is just sublime. (Hint: The sports bar in the picture is probably not the greatest sports bar ever. Just a guess.)

Now ad free

Fuck Google AdSense. For some crazy reason I acutally thought their crappy ads would give the blog some kind of Interwebs Authority as a legitimate site. What the hell was I thinking? Oh well, now I can't count on that 2.23 cents I was due to earn this year.

Keeping up with the NY Times readers

I routinely get enjoyment out of looking at which stories are listed on the "Most Read" index on the NY Times homepage. The relative interest in the various stories reveals a lot about the kind of people who read The Times: they come off looking like anxiety-riddled, over-protective, upper-middle-class parents. Top concerns include ANYTHING to do with college admissions or pre-school admissions, any trend story involving parenting, any trend story involving money and any trend story involving Expensive Things Other Upper Middle Class People Like Me Might Be Buying.

Today the Times' top read was a story about how children's picky eating habits might be inherited from their parents. The story angle itself wasn't toooooo obnoxious, but you have to love this little paragraph:

Over in New Jersey, the Bakers changed their November family vacation to accommodate Sasha, an 11-year-old so averse to fruits and vegetables that the smell of orange juice once made him faint. Instead of flying to Prague, Sasha’s parents decided to go to Barcelona, where they hope the food will be more to his liking.

So poor little Sasha had to spend his summer traipsing around Catalonia instead of Bohemia? For shame! What kind of maniacal, overbearing parents reschedule their entire summer trip because the spoiled brat doesn't like a cup of o.j.?

Gold-diggers and Beethoven stretchers

The Freakanomics Blog has a nice little post on the economics of "gold diggers" (the types Kanye rapped about, not cranky bearded prospectors). It's a great little response to a craigslist poster asking for unspecific advice on how to snag a man who makes $500,000 or more per year.

Fun with music: A couple of Norwegians have taken Beethoven's 9th Symphony and stretched it into a looooong and slooooooow 24-hour-long orchestral piece. You can listen to it online and apparently it will actually be performed live eventually.

On a related note, another software wizard compressed every Beatles album into a trippy one-hour MP3. Instead of speeding up the recordings (which would make McCartney and Lennon sound like Alvin, Simon and Theodore they used software that with a little logarithmic magic can cut out the unimportant bits of audio data and allow users to change tempos without affecting pitch. (This has been around for a few years and the program Acid is particularly useful for this kind of basement trickery.)

Also, I'm starting a new tab for any money/economics related posts called "c.r.e.a.m." Fellow Wu-Tang fans will understand.

This is why the terrorists hate us

Sometimes we stumble upon a website that at first seems to be an elaborate practical joke. Then we realize there really are retards who ascribe to the website's sociopathic worldview. This is one of those sites.

Back from Nashville

Di and I got back from Nashville. It was a swell weekend (ugh, I'm starting to talk like a gosh-darn Southerner). We started off our trip by taking a major side excursion up to Dawsonville, Ga. so that Dionne could do some shopping at the outlet stores.

I was fine with that, on two conditions: she had to let me stop in the Adidas and Puma stores (I'm still a euro-trash raver at heart) and I would be able to devise a back route to get us back to I-75, the main highway between Atlanta and Chattanooga, Tenn.

The shopping highlight: Finding some incredible deals in the Adidas outlet, including the Adidas Superster IIs with graffiti designs on them. They also had a bunch of really cool t-shirts with national (soccer/footie) team designs. My favorite was a bright yellow, green and red Cameroon shirt with a huge lion head design on the back. What can I say, I like bright shit like that.

After we left, I figured out that we could take a little two-lane back road through the North Georgia mountains. It turned out to be about a 60-mile drive through windy, hilly terrain on a day with absolutely perfect Indian summer weather. In fact, the drive up to Nashville was suprisingly scenic. Chattanooga is quite an attractive city. It's perched on the bank of a winding river and has huge bluffs overlooking downtown from every direction. Reminded me a bit of Pittsburgh, actually. Just a bit northwest of Chattanooga is Lake Nickajack. Route 24 took us right across the lake and gave us some great views of the southern Appalachians.

Once in Nashville we stayed with Di's parents. Saturday morning I went with my father-in-law to their church (it's Episcopal, if you're curious) for the Men's Club saturday morning breakfast. I somehow received a round of applause when he introduced me to the crowd of men in their 50s and 60s (who were all named Jerry and Dale, if I recall). After a quick meal of sausage biscuits we spent the morning doing repairs on the church and rectory. My father in law was especially useful for his electrical/lighting prowess, which meant the other Men's Club members treated us all day long like we were Edison and Tesla themselves.

Not much else really happened. Di's parents treated us to a nice Second Anniversary dinner on Saturday night at J. Alexander's, a nice steakhouse in Brentwood, near Nashville. The drive up and back really inspired Di and I to get some camping done, so now we're planning to do a little camping trip in the next few weeks at one of the parks in North Georgia. We just need to stock up on some equipment first: hiking boots, a second warm sleeping bag, a lantern and a small camp stove.

All the way to Nashville

Di and I are driving to Nashville this weekend. It will be our first mini-trip out of Atlanta since we moved down here (we've barely ventured outside our neighborhood, let alone much Georgia or the south in general). We're visiting her parents. Should be nice.

Also, check out this great article on China.

Nightmare fuel

You didn't really think that creepy fat guy who managed all the boy bands in the mid-90s was just an interested music fan, did you? It turns out that Lou Pearlman's story is even worse than we thought:

One person recalls him spreading his legs while wearing a white terrycloth robe and matching underwear, then uttering the not-quite-Mae-Westian come-on "You're a smart boy. Figure it out."

I don't can't decide whether this is hilarious or creepy. I'm gonna go with both.

Taco me

Some people might find this crazy, but some of us have a strange addiction to tracking down the best tacos in town. Now that I'm in Atlanta, home to about a million more Mexican immigrants than Rhode Island, I plan to explore as many taquerias as possible.

That's also the mission behind the ingenious blog called The Burrito Bracket. A Chicago blogger is running a tournament of Mexican food (burritos, as well as tacos and tortas).

I particulary enjoyed his (or her) take on just what it is that makes a truly great taco: corn tortillas (NEVER flour!), quality meat and a mixture of ciltantro and onions (never tomatoes, lettuce, etc.). Amen.

Won't anybody think of the children?

So the Senate voted overwhelmingly in favor of expanding the program that provides health coverage to children from low-income families. The problem, is that even though 19 Republican senators supported the bill, Dubya appears likely to veto it, calling it a "big government bill" (nevermind the fact that he's been running huge budget deficits for the last six years and flushing billions down the toilet that is the Iraq war).

The curious aspect of this whole debate is how it relates to what everyone seems to feel is the inevitablity of socialized medicine in this country.

For instance, many on the left have adopted a position of "lets watch the politicians and insurance companies piss so many people off that they eventually demand universal single-payer healthcare." It's the whole "let it break down" position. You let your opponents neglect something for so long that an opposite reaction eventually occurs.

So while some of the dimmer Republicans like John Cornyn of Texas grouse that this bill is a step toward socialized medicine, the more astute ones (like Sen. Bob Corker) realize that a small compromise such as this one will actually delay a radical reorganization of healthcare and preserve the status quo.

Senator Bob Corker, Republican of Tennessee, said those fears were unfounded.

“What will move our country toward socialized medicine is not this bill, which focuses on poor children, but the lack of action to allow people in need to have access to private affordable health care,” Mr. Corker said.

Message board atom bomb

I happened to be reading one of the message boards over at Slate, and one poster took umbrage at a conservative poster's statment that Republicans "know the difference between wrong and right." Somehow, this was his insane/somewhat funny reply. disclaimer: who the hell knows if half of this stuff is even true or who compiled any of it in the first place. so please don't sue me for libel. ;) ....

Republicans know the difference between wrong and right.." ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! DO YOU NOT KNOW OF THE MYRIAD OF SEX SCANDALS THE RETHUGS HAVE BEEN CAUGHT UP IN? * Republican prosecutor John David Roy Atchison was arrested for soliciting sex from a 5-year old girl. At the time of his arrest, Atchison was an "assistant U.S. attorney" appointed by President Bush's attorney general. * Republican city councilman John Bryan killed himself after police began investigating allegations that he had molested three girls, including two of his adopted daughters, ages 12 and 15. * Republican legislator Ted Klaudt was charged with raping girls under the age of 16. * Republican city councilman Joseph Monteleone Jr. was found guilty of fondling underage girls. * Republican congressional aide Jeffrey Nielsen was arrested for having sex with a 14-year old boy. * Republican County Commissioner Patrick Lee McGuire surrendered to police after allegedly molesting girls between the ages of 8 and 13. * Republican prosecutor Larry Corrigan was arrested for soliciting sex from 13-year old girls. * Republican Mayor Jeffrey Kyle Randall was sentenced to 275 days in jail for molesting two boys -- ages ten and 12 -- during a six-year period. * Republican County Board Candidate Brent Schepp was charged with molesting a 14-year old girl and killed himself three days later. * Republican Congressman Mark Foley abruptly resigned from Congress after "sexually explicit" emails surfaced showing him flirting with a 16-year old boy. * Republican executive Randall Casseday of the conservative Washington Times newspaper pleaded guilty to soliciting sex from a 13-year old girl on the internet. * Republican chairman of the Oregon Christian Coalition Lou Beres confessed to molesting a 13-year old girl. * Republican County Constable Larry Dale Floyd pleaded guilty to charges of soliciting sex from an 8-year old girl. Floyd has repeatedly won elections for Denton County, Texas, constable. * Republican judge Mark Pazuhanich pleaded no contest to fondling a 10-year old girl and was sentenced to 10 years probation. * Republican Party leader Bobby Stumbo was arrested for having sex with a 5-year old boy. * Republican petition drive manager Tom Randall pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 14, one of them the daughter of an associate in the petition business. * Republican County Chairman Armando Tebano pleaded guilty to fondling a 14-year-old girl. * Republican teacher and former city councilman John Collins pleaded guilty to sexually molesting 13 and 14 year old girls. * Republican campaign worker Mark Seidensticker is a convicted child molester. * Republican Mayor Philip Giordano is serving a 37-year sentence in federal prison for sexually abusing 8- and 10-year old girls. * Republican Mayor Tom Adams was arrested for distributing child pornography over the internet. * Republican Mayor John Gosek was arrested on charges of soliciting sex from two 15-year old girls. * Republican County Commissioner David Swartz pleaded guilty to molesting two girls under the age of 11 and was sentenced to 8 years in prison. * Republican legislator Edison Misla Aldarondo was sentenced to 10 years in prison for raping his daughter between the ages of 9 and 17. * Republican Committeeman John R. Curtin was convicted of molesting an underage teenage boy and sentenced to serve six to 18 months in prison. * Republican anti-abortion activist Howard Scott Heldreth is a convicted child rapist in Florida. * Republican zoning supervisor, Boy Scout leader and Lutheran church president Dennis L. Rader pleaded guilty to performing a sexual act on an 11-year old girl he murdered. * Republican anti-abortion activist Nicholas Morency pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer and offering a bounty to anybody who murders an abortion doctor. * Republican campaign consultant Tom Shortridge was sentenced to three years probation for taking nude photographs of a 15-year old girl. * Republican racist pedophile and United States Senator Strom Thurmond had sex with a 15-year old black girl which produced a child. * Republican pastor Mike Hintz, whom George W. Bush commended during the 2004 presidential campaign, surrendered to police after admitting to a sexual affair with a female juvenile. * Republican legislator Peter Dibble pleaded no contest to having an inappropriate relationship with a 13-year-old girl. * Republican advertising consultant Carey Lee Cramer was sentenced to six years in prison for molesting two 8-year old girls, one of whom appeared in an anti-Gore television commercial. * Republican fundraiser Lawrence E. King, Jr. organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. * Republican lobbyist Craig J. Spence organized child sex parties at the White House during the 1980s. * Republican Congressman Donald "Buz" Lukens was found guilty of having sex with a female minor and sentenced to one month in jail. * Republican fundraiser Richard A. Delgaudio was found guilty of child porn charges and paying two teenage girls to pose for sexual photos. * Republican activist Mark A. Grethen convicted on six counts of sex crimes involving children. * Republican campaign chairman Randal David Ankeney pleaded guilty to attempted sexual assault on a child and was arrested again five years later on the same charge. * Republican Congressman Dan Crane had sex with a female minor working as a congressional page. * Republican activist and Christian Coalition leader Beverly Russell admitted to an incestuous relationship with his step daughter. * Republican Judge Ronald C. Kline pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer. * Republican congressman and anti-gayactivist Robert Bauman was charged with having sex with a 16-year-old boy he picked up at a gay bar. * Republican Committee Chairman Jeffrey Patti was arrested for distributing a video clip of a 5-year-old girl being raped. * Republican activist Marty Glickman (a.k.a. "Republican Marty"), was taken into custody by Florida police on four counts of unlawful sexual activity with an underage girl and one count of delivering the drug LSD. * Republican legislative aide Howard L. Brooks was charged with molesting a 12-year old boy and possession of child pornography. * Republican Senate candidate John Hathaway was accused of having sex with his 12-year old baby sitter and withdrew his candidacy after the allegations were reported in the media. * Republican preacher Stephen White, who demanded a return to traditional values, was sentenced prison after offering $20 to a 14-year-old boy for permission to perform oral sex on him. * Republican talk show host JonMatthews pleaded guilty to exposing his genitals to an 11 year old girl. * Republican anti-gay activist Earl "Butch" Kimmerling was sentenced to 40 years in prison for molesting an 8-year old girl after he attempted to stop a gay couple from adopting her. * Republican Party leader Paul Ingram pleaded guilty to six counts of raping his daughters and served 14 years in federal prison. * Republican election board official KevinCoan was sentenced to two years probation for soliciting sex over the internet from a 14-year old girl. * Republican politician Andrew Buhr was charged with two counts of first degree sodomy with a 13-year old boy. * Republican legislator Keith Westmoreland was arrested on seven felony counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition to girls under the age of 16 (i.e. exposing himself to children). * Republican anti-abortion activist John Allen Burt was found guilty of molesting a 15-year old girl. * Republican County Councilman Keola Childs pleaded guilty to molesting a male child. * Republican activist John Butler was charged with criminal sexual assault on a teenage girl. * Republican candidate Richard Gardner admitted to molesting his two daughters. * Republican Councilman and former Marine Jack W. Gardner was convicted of molesting a 13-year old girl. * Republican County Commissioner Merrill Robert Barter pleaded guilty to unlawful sexual contact and assault on a teenage boy. * Republican City Councilman Fred C. Smeltzer, Jr. pleaded no contest to raping a 15 year-old girl and served 6-months in prison. * Republican activist Parker J. Bena pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography on his home computer and was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000. * Republican parole board officer and former Colorado state representative, Larry Jack Schwarz, was fired after child pornography was found in his possession. * Republican strategist and Citadel Military College graduate Robin Vanderwall was convicted in Virginia on five counts of soliciting sex from boys and girls over the internet. * Republican city councilman Mark Harris, who is described as a "good military man" and "church goer," was convicted of repeatedly having sex with an 11-year-old girl and sentenced to 12 years in prison. * Republican businessman Jon Grunseth withdrew his candidacy for Minnesota governor after allegations surfaced that he went swimming in the nude with four underage girls, including his daughter. * Republican campaign worker, police officer and self-proclaimed reverend Steve Aiken was convicted of having sex with two underage girls. * Republican director of the "Young Republican Federation" Nicholas Elizondo molested his 6-year old daughter and was sentenced to six years in prison. * Republican president of the New York City Housing Development Corp. Russell Harding pleaded guilty to possessing child pornography on his computer. * Republican benefactor of conservative Christian groups, Richard A. Dasen Sr., was found guilty of raping a 15-year old girl. Dasen, 62, who is married with grown children and several grandchildren, has allegedly told police that over the past decade he paid more than $1 million to have sex with a large number of young women. * Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld authorized the rape of children in Iraqi prisons in order to humiliate their parents into providing information about the anti-American insurgency. See excerpt of one prisoner's report here and his full report here. AND THESE ARE THE ONE WE KNOW ABOUT!

Yes, we really blog about this crap

Blogger just added a new mini-feature that allows you to look at what photos people are posting to their blogs in real time. It's gimmicky, yes, but it interesting to see what ridiculous photos people are blogging about at any given time.

The day Rove left and never came back

This Onion article about Karl Rove leaving the Bush White House is just classic.

While sneaking the departing official out to a waiting town car, Secret Service agents were briefly able to deceive Bush by telling him Rove was just running down to the cellar to get him some ice cream. But when Bush heard the car's engine start in the driveway, he burst outside to stop Rove.

"I'll never forget the sight of the president, watching Rove's face in the back window becoming smaller and smaller as the car pulled away forever," Rice said.

Your fan is trying to kill you

Apparently Koreans widely believe that leaving a fan on while you sleep is deadly. I think Dubya needs to read this. It presents us with an easy way of toppling the Kim Jong Il region: the window fan airdrop.

The beauty of beauty pageants

More house pics...

Here's a little slide show of our new home in Atlanta that Dionne put together. Enjoy.

Shhhhhhhhhhh

Dear New York Times. Shut up shut up shut up shut up. Shut Up!

You know that feeling of knowing something no one else knows about, then some big mouth comes along and tells all the rich, obnoxious people about it? That's how I felt when I saw the Times' "we discovered this unspoiled gem" story on the Rhode Island town of Narragansett.

As a former resident of the great little state of R.I. (Mrs. T-L and I already miss the place after only a month), I always loved Narragansett. It's got some of the better beaches in the state, nice bars and restaurants, and is just a cool little town that gets very little of the obnoxious NY license plates and hedge fund zombies that Newport, Jamestown, Block Island, etc. get in the summertime. So much for that.

My irony detector started smoking when I came across this sentence toward the bottom listing the town's Pros and Cons. (This was one of the cons.)

This fishing village and the downtown Pier area are in danger of being overly commercialized by developers who see an opportunity to tap into the growing interest in the neighborhood.

But the very same out-of-towners who read the New York Times are pretty much the exact group of people driving this kind of development and spoiling of smaller New England towns. The article even goes into detail on real estate prices, so you know before long the town will be completely bought up by New Yorkers looking for vacation homes.

Explanation for Minnesota bridge collapse

I stumbled upon this 2005 Onion parody that (creepily) explains why the bridge might have collapsed over Minnesota last week.

Where I'm at

I really do apologize for the lack of posting lately, but there's been so much change lately that I've barely had any time for blogging. Two weeks ago Dionne and I bought our first home: A condo in Atlanta. It's very exciting. The place costs us far less than we would have ever found a home for in Rhode Island, and I'm getting settled into my new job while Dionne prepares to start her ph.d program in a couple weeks.

The move was crazy and back-breaking. I flew back to R.I. last thursday, we packed the truck up all day Friday, had dinner and drinks with friends for one last time Friday night and then hit the road early Saturday with all of our belongings packed up.

We got into town Sunday and, with the generous help of family and friends here, we unloaded the truck in an hour or two.

That's when the real work began! We needed some new furniture, a new washer and dryer, new blinds and curtains and paint on the bathroom walls. Plus about 30 other little projects that we've barely even started. Plus the condo was piled high with boxes everywhere.

Luckily we've gotten quite a bit done over the past few days and are now starting to make some progress. The place is great... two bedrooms, two and half baths, new appliances, a deck, a community with a pool and tennis court, etc. Here's the picture of our new home: