what not to bid on...
i didn't know people still sold those crappy beany babies. apparently this guy is getting revenge by selling off his ex-wife's collection. read the whole auction. it gets funnier and funnier.
Oct 31, 2003
Oct 30, 2003
journalism 101....
make sure you get the right person when you out their criminal history through the media. i guess msnbc din't pay attention that day.
By Joel at 2:44 PM 0 comments
Oct 29, 2003
the day after...
all this terrorism is making me nostalgic for the cold war. here's a government map of where nuclear warheads would most likely hit Rhode Island.
By Joel at 2:04 PM 0 comments
Oct 28, 2003
one more reason not to live in southern california...
you may have heard that wildfires are pretty much all over southern cali right now. check out how eerie it looks in San Diego.
By Joel at 8:59 AM 0 comments
Oct 23, 2003
the gravy train of strained english...
that's how DubyaSpeak.com describe's the president's public speaking. this site first got big during his campaign, but give the man a few years and a lot of linguistic car wrecks can happen.
anyway, here are the top 10 dubya quotes from the editors of dubyaspeak.com:
10. "I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war."
9. "I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."
8. "You teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
7. "No, I know all the war rhetoric, but it's all aimed at achieving peace."
6. "My mom often used to say, 'The trouble with W' -- although she didn't put that to words."
5. "In 1994, there were 67 schools in Texas that were rated 'exemplorary' according to our own tests."
4. "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."
3. "Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."
2. "I understand small business growth. I was one."
1. "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.
By Joel at 5:27 PM 0 comments
adios wal-mart....
i hate this store. it was with much glee that i read today's story that hundreds of illegal aliens working at wal-marts around the country were arrested today. now, i do fee sorry for the workers. this is a nation built on immigrants and the notion of "illegals" seemed only to come up once the newcomers weren't white. anyway....
the real gist of today's post is that wal-mart must be the greatest public leach in u.s. history. it's super ironic that a store catering to middle-american rednecks who bask themselves in anti-immigrant rhetoric is also the company that gives their jobs to illegals. and what does it tell you when the world's largest retail chain doesn't even hire its own janitorial workers -- they're technically outside contractors.
i hope the entire walton family, who seem to make up a good chunk of those "america's 100 richest people" lists get forced to do community service -- maybe something like the patrolling the rio grande border for $25,000 a year.
and another thought...who do you think pays for healthcare for the vast majority of wal-mart's employees? most are uninsured and every time one of them has a slip and fall in the leisurewear section, they're probably headed to the city/county hospital for us taxpayers to foot the bill. argh.
By Joel at 1:02 PM 0 comments
Oct 22, 2003
a group hug?....
everyone has dark, nasty little secrets, and this is the place to find out what they actually are. people just anonymously spill their guts about the bad things they've done or wanted to do. unrequited love and cheating on lovers seem to be especially popular. it does get better than that, though. favorites include "i enjoy sniffing random bicycle seats" and the much-darker "i keep having unprotected sex and am afraid to get tested because i might have hiv." like, whoa.
By Joel at 7:16 PM 0 comments
Oct 17, 2003
beer goggles...
for those of you (i'm thinking, of the female persuasion) who don't know what beer goggles are all about, this little presentation sums it up nicely. men ARE dogs, huh?
By Joel at 8:35 AM 0 comments
Oct 16, 2003
i'm deano...
this quiz poses the eternal question, Which Rat Pack Member Are You? it told me my personality resembles that of dean martin. i'm flattered.
By Joel at 4:51 PM 0 comments
Oct 15, 2003
wild child....
don't tell me you aren't at least a little interested in a historical list of children raised by wolves, dogs and even a chimp.
By Joel at 6:30 PM 0 comments
Oct 14, 2003
the audio-animatronic candidate...
that's what frank rich calls arnold schwarzenegger in maybe the greatest writing yet on his candidacy. it's depressing to think that anyone would vote for such a hollow candidate -- liberal, conservative or whatever. can we cut california loose, yet?
By Joel at 3:49 PM 0 comments
Oct 2, 2003
Sep 30, 2003
rush limbaugh don't know football...
you may know that espn hired dittohead limbaugh to offer commentary on its sunday morning NFL pregame show. too bad. he brings nothing. not only did he predict that the lowly dallas texans would beat the k.c. chiefs in week 2 (what was he smoking?), but he suggested that philadephia eagles q.b. donovan mcnabb is overrated and a token black playing the quarterback position.
surriously. i hope mcnabb punches him in the face. i'd pay to see that.
By Joel at 2:13 PM 0 comments
Sep 26, 2003
do you know any slow or special people
do you know any slow or special people
do you know any slow or special people
do you know any slow or special people
do you know any slow or special people
do you know any slow or special people.....
i wanna go to hawaii, yeah!
By Joel at 12:20 PM 0 comments
you may need this recipe....
ok. i doubt you'll ever be in prison but if you get caught up in the fast life, you need to learn to adapt to prison life. remember, there's only way to get your drink on behind bars -- pruno. it's a sick fermented drink made from sugar, fruit, ketchup and bread rolls. yumm.
By Joel at 12:12 PM 0 comments
Sep 25, 2003
bling-blang....
i love fall from grace stories. this one is great. it's about a bigtime stylist who was pawning million dollar jewelry loaned to him by harry winston etc.
By Joel at 2:43 PM 0 comments
Sep 24, 2003
stringers and superstringers...
the insider dynamics of the ny times have always been interesting and tumultuous. (i highly recommend a.e. rosenthal's autobiography, btw). anyway, the village voice has a story about bylines that talk a bit about how staff writers don't really do most of their own reporting.
By Joel at 12:34 PM 0 comments
which corey is your favorite?....
i always took feldman over haim. i need this t-shirt.
By Joel at 11:23 AM 0 comments
Sep 23, 2003
let them watch fox news...
you know things ain't going well in iraq, or "Mess-o-potamia" as the daily show calls it, when you start reading things like this.
By Joel at 1:19 PM 0 comments
let them watch fox news...
you know things ain't going well in iraq, or "Mess-o-potamia" as the daily show calls it, when you start reading things like this.
By Joel at 1:19 PM 0 comments

