Tomorrow-Land

the joel's pub map of the united states:

i thought i'd hit you with my own rundown of the various u.s. states. look out delaware.



rhode island: kind of a scrubbier little brother of massachusetts. white people fill all of the lowest paying jobs here: including journalism. also, you're never just "white" or "hispanic", etc. you're always known by your ethnicity: especially if you're italian, irish, portuguese, columbian or cape verdean.



pennsylvania: i stil consider this my home state. there's no accent, and it's big as hell, lots of fly-over territory. second-most catholic state (after rhode island, btw). lots of great beers are brewed there, too. you can't mess with Yuengling. oh and they have the most die-hard sports fans in TWO cities. (beat that, florida.)



delawhere?: my most-hated state. texas may be a disgrace to the republic, but delaware is just evil. if you don't believe me, read this article from last year. not only is it a boring place, but they basically leech off the semi-good people of pennsylvania, new york and new jersey.



maryland: almost my home state. spent way too much time partying there during college. i can still tell you the best place to get chicken fried steak at 3 in the morning.



florida: home of the floridiots. maybe the most un-natural place humans have ever settled in. maybe some mysterious swamp gases have gone to their brains. gotta love the occasional stores of floridiots trying to take home alligators as pets and getting their damned arms bitten off. also the home states of Miss Kristen, a fine fine blogger.