Tomorrow-Land

don and i are the obit-jockies at the times every night. if you die anywhere in northern rhode island, chances are, one of us is responsible for making sure the last words written about you are pleasant. a part of me, though, wishes we could be a bit more, ahem, truthful. check out this unbelievable obit from the telegraph newspaper in the u.k. the obit is for an actual journalist named graham mason:

"Unlike his friend Jeffrey Bernard, though, Graham Mason did not make himself the hero of his own tragedy. His speciality was the extreme. In one drinking binge he went for nine days without food. At the height of his consumption, before he was frightened by epileptic fits into cutting back, he was managing two bottles of vodka a day. His face became in his own description that of a 'rotten choirboy'. At lunchtime he would walk through the door of the Coach and Horses still trembling with hangover, his nose and ears blue whatever the weather. On one cold day he complained of the noise that the snow made as it landed on his bald head."