The annoying headlines of the NYT

Ever check out the homepage of the New York Times and try to figure out what the stories are about? Well, you'd never know by looking at the headlines. You see, NYT readers are sophisticated enough that they don't need to know exactly what the stories are about... the mere impression will suffice.

Check out today's list of "most e-mailed stories":

1. Findings: And Behind Door No. 1, a Fatal Flaw
2. A Disease That Allowed Torrents of Creativity
3. Vanished: A Pueblo Mystery
4. Well: Keeping Priorities Straight, Even at the End
5. In a New Generation of College Students, Many Opt for the Life Examined
6. Asian Inflation Begins to Sting U.S. Shoppers
7. Growing Pains for a Deep-Sea Home Built of Subway Cars
8. Equestrians’ Deaths Spread Unease in Sport
9. There’s Gas in Those Hills
10. Young Obama Backers Twist Parents’ Arms

Of those 10, the only ones that make any friggin sense at all are numbers 6 and 8. I especially love the number 1 headline. What is this about door no. 1? What is "Findings"? And what's this about some kind of underwater subway car house? ARRRRRRGH. JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCKING STORY IS ABOUT BEFORE I STAB SOMEBODY IN THE FACE!!!!