Feb 13, 2007

Have another Triscuit

Over at a food blog called Ruhlman.com, Anthony Bourdain gives his opinion on the current state of the Food Network. (By the way, I really, really hate it when people chuckle and say "tell us what you really think" after someone gives their frank opinion. This phrase really bugs me.) Anyway, he mainly tears into the suits at the food channel for what he calls a "cynical" attempt to dumb down the programming. Bourdain is especially funny when he takes a few jabs at Rachael Ray (yes, I know, an easy target):

Complain all you want. It’s like railing against the pounding surf. She only grows stronger and more powerful. Her ear-shattering tones louder and louder. We KNOW she can’t cook. She shrewdly tells us so. So...what is she selling us? Really? She’s selling us satisfaction, the smug reassurance that mediocrity is quite enough. She’s a friendly, familiar face who appears regularly on our screens to tell us that “Even your dumb, lazy ass can cook this!” Wallowing in your own crapulence on your Cheeto-littered couch you watch her and think, “Hell…I could do that. I ain’t gonna…but I could--if I wanted! Now where’s my damn jug a Diet Pepsi?” Where the saintly Julia Child sought to raise expectations, to enlighten us, make us better--teach us--and in fact, did, Rachael uses her strange and terrible powers to narcotize her public with her hypnotic mantra of Yummo and Evoo and Sammys. “You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

No comments: