Where I'm at

I really do apologize for the lack of posting lately, but there's been so much change lately that I've barely had any time for blogging. Two weeks ago Dionne and I bought our first home: A condo in Atlanta. It's very exciting. The place costs us far less than we would have ever found a home for in Rhode Island, and I'm getting settled into my new job while Dionne prepares to start her ph.d program in a couple weeks.

The move was crazy and back-breaking. I flew back to R.I. last thursday, we packed the truck up all day Friday, had dinner and drinks with friends for one last time Friday night and then hit the road early Saturday with all of our belongings packed up.

We got into town Sunday and, with the generous help of family and friends here, we unloaded the truck in an hour or two.

That's when the real work began! We needed some new furniture, a new washer and dryer, new blinds and curtains and paint on the bathroom walls. Plus about 30 other little projects that we've barely even started. Plus the condo was piled high with boxes everywhere.

Luckily we've gotten quite a bit done over the past few days and are now starting to make some progress. The place is great... two bedrooms, two and half baths, new appliances, a deck, a community with a pool and tennis court, etc. Here's the picture of our new home:

The world's best gallon of milk

You know what I'm talking about, right? None other than Amazon's most special Tuscan milk. And it's not even from Tuscany!

The perfect open letter...

The open letter is a tough act to pull off. Mostly they just come off as sanctimonious and preening. This is a few years old now, but check out David Cross's open letter to Larry The Cable Guy. That, kids, is how you bitchslap someone.

Lesbian gangs taking over...

That's right, Lesbian gangs are on the loose and taking over:

Sudamerica!

I consider myself truly lucky to have done a fair amount of travel so far in my lifetime. I've visted many, many places in the northeastern U.S. (thanks to a father who flew the family around in a small plane, years of camping trips as a boy scout and later a wife who loves travelling as much as I do). I've also seen quite a bit of the southeastern U.S., Ontario, Quebec, a few great cities out west such as San Francisco (perhaps one of the greatest cities I'll ever see) and Denver and quite a bit of Western Europe: southern France, London, Amsterdam, Rome and Florence.

Now, I wouldn't turn down a return trip to the continent (Spain, Germany and Czech Republic would all be great), but where I really want to travel is South America. Maybe it's the sheer beauty of the place and the sheer exuberance that attracts me, but I think I better start taking spanish lesson. Ole!

Here's a great blog post I stumbled upon today that lists the top 18 skylines in the world. Only one, Sao Paolo, is from South America, but I've seen enough pictures of some other great Sudamericano skylines to know I need to experience these places before I die:

Caracas

Lima

Montevideo

La Paz

And the most beautiful of all, Rio de Janeiro:

Argggggh, David Chase!

In case you've been under a rock, The Sopranos finale was tonight. Luckily my sis-in-law Simone has the Hibbo, so I could watch it. Unfortunately, the show is written by David Chase, a complete wanker, who apparently decided that writers shouldn't, ya know, tie up loose ends in the plot and provide viewers with a sense of resolution. No, he had to get all abstract on us and present a completely ridiculous non-ending that allows the show to end without any of the big questions being answered.

I know writers and directors like to leave some questions unanswered, but a plot-driven show like this needs an ending. Not answering the big question of whether or not Tony was killed isn't creative or abstract... it's gutless and limp, and admits to viewers that the show's producer has lost all passion for the project. He wanted to kill off the show but apparently lacks the guts to kill of its hero.

U.S National Team update

Since I know you're all dying for info and commentary on the U.S. soccer team's 4-1 victory over China yesterday, here ya go.

People don't just visit, they move out here

Those are the words of Jermaine Dupri in the classic "Welcome to Atlanta" remix. Well, in our case, that's definitely true. Thing are moving forward quickly for Di and I. I spent my first week at my new job, learning about the place and getting settled in.

This new job is at a much smaller company than anywhere else I've ever worked and there are a lot of things different about it. For instance, the president of the company has his own blog and we're all expected to read it first thing in the morning. It's actually kind of a good way for him to let everyone know what he's thinking. We also post comments on the blog that sorta lay out a few of the things we'll be working that day.

For those who don't know, my job involves editing and writing for a monthly business newspaper/magazine. It's focused on a county in the Atlanta area, which happens to be one of, if not THE most booming parts of the region. It's nice because the paper is only three years old, which means the president wants me to look at ways of improving the product and how we can branch out, tighten up the print edition and just take advantage of new ideas and a fresh perspective. It's very cool. The president, who hired me, seems to have a very strong personality and lots of charisma. It's definitely not the kind of job where he says one thing and you do another. His word is gospel, but he's obviously very willing to listen to his employees, compliment them and do nice things for them. I think the arrangement will work very well.

Perhaps the biggest cloud hanging over my head, though, is on the housing front. I'm staying with Di's sister right now who's extremely gracious for having me, but our plan is to buy a condo down here this summer and get moved in sometime next month. It should be exciting. Of course, it's also incredibly stressful. We're tying to stay within our budget and avoid paying a big mortgage on our first home. Still, it should be enough for us to get a small 2-bedroom townhouse in a decent neighborhood. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Making money off Cameroonian typos

Sometimes I think this interwebs thing is less a reflection of the human world than some kind of animal kingdom: there are the kings of the jungle (Amazon, YouTube, eBay, etc.) and then there are the bottom feeders (the guys who junk up the web and just hope you're dumb enough to find yourself on a crappy ad-choked faux website).

Kevin Ham is the latter. He's made millions of dollars by buying up crappy domain names in the hope that enough stupid people will just type random names into the URL window on their browsers. And they do.

And when they do, guys like Ham are there to show you millions of useless text ads, and hey, maybe you're gullible to actually click through some of them. They actually make a nice living building completely pointless websites (ok, that's half the internet, but still...).

Here's an awesome profile of the "domainers." I especially like how they've worked out an arrangement with the Cameroonian government to steer all traffic to their pages when people accidentally mis-type ".com."

The plan is in motion

Wow. What a summer this is shaping up to be. It turns out I'll be moving down to Atlanta in about a week from now. I landed a job last Friday at a small publishing and marketing firm that produces a monthly business magazine in one of Atlanta's more booming suburban counties.

I've long wanted to find a job that would combine the aspects of the media business I like most: high-quality journalism and innovative use of technology. I spent about two hours meeting with my future boss last week and I feel like it's the kind of place that will take advantage of my skills and creativity a little more than where I'm at now.

So I'm heading down south over the holiday weekend. I'll be back up north for a couple of weddings next month. Then hopefully by July Dionne and I can find a condo to buy. So far we're blown away by how cheap real estate is.

Eating on $21 a week

Luckily this isn't the latest Rachel Ray show. It's actually a sort of "experiment" by two members of congress to spend only $21 per week on food. That's the amount the typical food stamp recipient has. And well, you can see from their blog that stretching $21 is NOT easy. Yikes.

Welcome to Atlanta

We stand at the vanguard of time and the precipice of history (I feel like Dwight giving his Il Duce speech on "The Office"). Wow. We've got a lot going on here in the biggest little state. It's looking more and more like the whole migration south could be happening before we know it. In honor of my soon-to-be new home, here are some amazingly cool graffiti-inspired sneakers that pay homage to Atlanta:

Man killed in dance-off

Instead of assigning reporters to cover the babysitting grandma beat, why can't they put them where they're really needed: Like giving us more information about how a 48-year-old Connecticut man died in a parking lot dance-off.

I feel like this AP story leaves too many questions unanswered. Why was everyone laughing at him? What song was he dancing to? Is this an impromptu dance-off or is it a regularly scheduled affair? What exact move was he trying to pull off? And what is a 48-year-old man doing in a dance off anyway?

I say cut the grandma babysitter story and give about 20 inches of newspaper column to the best dance-off reporter you have available. C'mon!

Another ridiculous trend story

The NY Times hits us with yet another made-up trend story today. Now the latest fake fad is "The Incredible Flying Granny Nanny." The gist is that there is this new breed of grandparents who fly around the country on a weekly basis to babysit the grandkids.

The only problem is that the reporter doesn't have any hard evidence of this supposed trend other than some anecdotal evidence (almost always culled from the upper crust social circle of the New York media elite).

Here's a tip for readers... If you suspect a bogus trend story look for sentences like these from the "Flying Granny Nanny" story:

There are no figures on how many grandparents go to extremes, because they can afford to, to care for their children’s children.

These stories always have a sentence about how there are no figures or statistics to measure whatever the supposed trend is. Journalists shouldn't be slaves to statistics, but that doesn't mean they should just look at a few well-off people around them and pronounce all their indulgences as society-wide trends.

A pizza for the homeless

A convicted murderer in Tennessee is requesting that prison officials deliver a pizza to a homeless man in lieu of his last meal. State officals are refusing on the absurd grounds that it would be a burden on taxpayers (because, you know, getting a pizza delivered to a homeless shelter would cost millions of dollars).

It doesn't stop there, though. The convict's original trial was apparently tainted by a lying witness and questionable ballistics evidence. His lawyer is saying the 1981 shooting of a Memphis police officer may have been a friendly fire incident, presumably from another cop at the scene.

And that's not all: Tennessee can't even prove to the higher courts that its procedure for lethal injections doesn' constitute cruel and unusual punishment. What a disgraceful story.

Noah's Ark gets all wiki-fied

A group of non-profits are funding a huge project called the Encyclopedia of Life, which will catalog the Earth's 1.8 million known living species. I'm kind of surprised Wikipedia hasn't done it already, but apparently it's not exactly a walk around the park... you need a lot of people to help you.

Yes, Paris Hilton actually has fans

And as you might have guessed, they're not the brightest lot the world has ever seen. Here's a letter one of them wrote to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger pleading for our favorite hotel heiress's pardon:

To: The Honorable Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Governor Schwarzenegger:

Let me first begin by saying that I grew up as a child enjoying all of your wonderful films. You really are the truly great action hero for our time. You are doing a great job in the great state of California.

I would like to bring a matter to your attention that you may or may not already be aware of due to the excessive media coverage this matter has received recently:

Paris Whitney Hilton is 26 year old American celebrity and socialite. She is an heiress to a share of the Hilton Hotel fortune, as well as to the real estate fortune of her father Richard Hilton. She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives. Hilton is notable for her leading roles on the FOX reality series The Simple Life and in the remake of the Vincent Price horror classic “House of Wax”. In addition to her work as an actress, she has achieved some recognition as a model, celebrity spokesperson, singer, and writer.

As most of America now knows, Ms. Hilton was just charged in a Los Angeles court with DUI and sentenced to 45 days in Century Regional Detention Facility in California beginning on or before June 5, 2007.

We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong. I do not support drunk driving or condone a person being spared from DUI charges. Paris should have been sober. But she shouldn’t go to jail, either. As depicted on Friday night’s episode “Nancy Grace” on Headline News (May 4, 2007), countless celebrities have been “slapped on the wrist” for similar incidents recently. Nick Nolte, Mel Gibson, Tracy Morgan, Wynonna Judd, to name a few, were arrested and never did a day in jail after their initial arrests for drunk driving /DUI /DWI charges. Rappers Busta Rhymes and Eve still walk free after both being arrested for the same charges as Ms. Hilton just this past week.

Singer/actress Brandy Norwood’s California Highway accident, although no proof of DUI was evidenced in her accident, resulted in the death of a young wife and mother in California, yet Brandy walks free as of today, never doing any time and a woman is now dead possibly due to her reckless driving.

Yet, Paris Hilton did not hurt, injure, or kill anyone or anything, and yet she must do jail time.

This letter, with all due respect to you, sir, is to ask you to please consider granting a pardon to Paris Hilton for her mistake, or at the very least to advocate for a pardon to be given to Ms. Hilton. Please allow her to her return to her career and life. Everyone makes mistakes. She didn’t hurt or kill anyone, and she has learned her lesson. She is sincere, apologetic, and full of regret for her actions as she explained tearfully to the Judge handling her case in court yesterday. She is distraught and understandably afraid to enter the prison system.

Please save Paris from ending up at the Century Regional Detention Facility in California.

I urge you to think about the welfare of this young woman who will be placed into a facility with murderers, rapists, people who have committed assault, battery, larceny, etc. Paris has made a mortal error and deserves a second chance like so many others in our great nation have been served with after a mistake they have made. In my humble opinion, if the late Former President Gerald Ford could find it in his heart to pardon the late Former President Richard Nixon after his mistake(s), we as compassionate human beings can undeniably support Paris Hilton being pardoned for her honest mistake as well.

I hope and expect that you will understand and please consider granting this unusual but important request in good faith to Ms. Paris Whitney Hilton.

More manifesto-y goodness

Here's the Cheap Art Manifesto, written by the Bread & Puppet Theater of Vermont in 1984. Enjoy.

Just say no

I got a memo in my inbox today at work from the human resources department. I opened it up and noticed.................. the entire letter was written in Comic Sans. Not just a heading or a contact number at the top of the page. The entire page was in Comic Sans, the retarded stepchild of typography. I know I touched on this before, but bear with me people: Comic Sans is ugly. Just because it has those faux-wacky squiggles and is included in the Microsoft system fonts does not mean it should be used for company-wide memos.

Which family members you can and can't marry

I've always wondered what the difference between second cousins and first cousins twice removed was.